i went to the beach today with my grandparents, mom, amy & clay. i was sortve dreading it, because i'm not really a beach person. however, it was very nice. i sat under the umbrella, and for a little while sat by the pool. there was a nice breeze, so it actually got a bit chilly at times. my grandparents sat under the umbrella with me, and we talked. no interrogation this time. it seems they are happy for me, and know that this is what i want to do and that i'll make it all work out. there weren't even too many comments on how white my skin is! my grandma even commented that she thought the color of my skin was very pretty! aside from the road hash and strawberries. my grandpa told me i looked tough. haha.

i have stressed myself out to the point that i am sick. last night, as i was trying to sleep, it felt as if my throat was closing. it was the worst throat pain i have ever experienced. i started taking medicine today, but i'm not quite myself. i have been making myself nauseous with all this moving stuff.

it looks like i'll be driving the uhaul to savannah. i could tow my car behind it, but that seems dangerous and scary. so my mom is going to follow me up there, ryan will help me move my stuff into the apartment, then i'll ride back with her. then i'll drive back up to savannah. i think it will be better that way, anyway, because then i could bring samoa up on the final trip and not the trip where i have to move furniture.

i finally talked to the starbucks manager today. he was very nice. i'm going up there to meet him next monday, and then he said he'd put me on the schedule starting wednesday to give me some time to settle. he also said that all three of the sbux in savannah are short-staffed, so if i want more hours i could pick up shifts at all of them. i guess this is normal there, because the few times i've tried to talk to him a manager from a different store was there.

my apartment is going to be wonderful. i can't wait to have my own space again! and the only piece of furniture i need is a table for my sewing machine. i have managed to acquire everything else. i'll be sure to post pictures.

AH.
i'm so nervous about next weekend. i have a million things running through my mind, a million things to take care of.

i just want to sleep and hide from everyone and everything. i don't know why that is always my initial response when i get stressed.

so, i'm making myself go see julius airwave tonight. not that i don't WANT to see them. it's just so much easier for me to stay inside. but i have a feeling i'll see some smiling faces that will be worth seeing.

edit: and they were definitely worth seeing. and julius is amazing.

here are some pictures from thursday, pre bad part.

so i really should be at my dad's packing, but instead i'm staying at ryan's house while he's in chicago.
i hope he's having a good time! he's with excellent hosts, so i'm sure he is. i'm going to clean his apartment tomorrow.

last night i got into a bike accident. it was bad. i'm not really sure how i fell.
i went out with gwynne & rocky, and had a blast. i've been so ready to get the heck out of here, but i'm going to miss a lot of things. like acting crazy with my friends.

i normally make fun of people who post stupid stuff like pictures of their injuries, but i can't believe how bad mine are.
i hit my head too, and it was bleeding. so i woke up this morning with bloody hair. i feel so hardcore.
i was even admitted into two bike gangs because of my injuries.
yes, i'm 25, not 15. as juan said, "man i can't believe you used to teach high school."





i'm stressing out about the move. actually, i'm really really stressing out about school. i still haven't heard about getting the graduate assistantship in the fall. and there's no way i can afford to take classes without it. the ma director emailed me about a scholarship opportunity for people doing research on georgia. i can take the housing project i've been working on, and expand it to georgia. so that would definitely be nice. but without that tuition discount it wouldn't really help much.
please just don't let things fall apart on me!

good lord

i have been so wierd lately. moving is strange. i know i'm not going very far, but i've been so anxious these past two weeks. i haven't been able to eat or sleep. i'm so nervous. nervous about being by myself. starting graduate school. having to work like crazy. people must think i'm crazy. i have an apartment now, so i should feel okay. it's in my price range and i think it's perfect. thank god tadd helped me, and uh, put up with me, because i wouldve either ended up without a home or in an apartment that was too extravagant. i'm glad i'm moving two months before school starts, though. it will give me time to settle and have some fun. hopefully starbucks won't schedule me to open at 5am every day.

today i went to lunch with a lady i used to work with at the chamber of commerce. she's an executive assistant, and in her early 50s. i love having older friends. when i spend time with them, it really helps me put my life into perspective. she had such positive words and wisdom to share. i'm glad we have kept in touch.

work is not helping my sanity. i'm glad i called in sick friday, because at 330 today i ran out of work to do and ended up surfing the net for a few hours. i just can't stand wasting time. my boss comes back tomorrow, though, so i'm sure she'll have some inane task for me to complete. is it strange that i'm looking forward to starting back up at starbucks again? i think that is the only job i've ever actually liked.

oh savannah

i got back from my new city of residence yesterday evening.
i didn't find a place to live yet, but i'm on the hunt. i don't think it will be a problem, i'm just holding out for slightly cheaper rent. starbucks at the twelve oaks shopping center wants to take me in, so i have a job.

i am so excited about everything.
the city is beautiful. it's history is fascinating, and it seems the people will be nice.
i'm looking forward to new friendships. as long as my craziness doesn't push them away...um, haha.
i need the change so bad. i want the change so bad. i can't wait to have my own space again. i can't wait to start school.

i made the drive from georgia southern, and its not bad at all. took about 35 minutes...will probably take 45 at the most. its just straight highway driving. straight highway country driving, through farms and stuff. i would not be able to live there. for my jacksonville people, it would be like me moving to palatka or callahan. the school is big, though, and looks nice.

now if i can just get the courage up to quit my job.
can i fast forward to june 1st?

guess this has (quickly) become more than just a medium for grad school talk.

dude yr so crazy!

i was in walgreens looking for hair dye. which means i was staring at boxes of brightly colored manes for 20 minutes trying to decide which one i wanted. i try to see which woman has the same skin color and look that i have, then try to imagine myself with that hair color.

all of the sudden i smell fried chicken.
then i hear singing. i can't remember what song it was, but i think it was queen.
the song had just started, but a guy walking down the same aisle, with a bag of publix fried chicken, was already belting out the first verse.

when the first verse came on, he didn't sing it. i thought that was strange.

i didn't think anything else of it, then i walked over to the toothpaste aisle.
i heard someone walking it was the same guy. he walked past me, grunted, said 'girl you look good' and grunted again.

as he was making his way to the cashier, he then said, 'but i bet you already know that.'

i just stood staring at the toothpaste, waited til he checked out, circled the store, and bought my medium golden brown hair dye.

politicians as university presidents

there was an article in the chronicle of higher education on 'running for a different kind of office.'
in the past few months, they have had several write-ups of universities around the country selecting former politicians as university presidents. my last semester at unf, we were going through a presidential search and the leading candidate (with the board of trustees and the community, not the faculty) was john delaney, who had just finished up as mayor of jacksonville.

at the time i was working on a study on the informal power structure of jacksonville, and in it we looked at lists of people who had positions on the boards of banks, top employers, real estate development companies, economic development agencies, and non-profit agencies. we then looked at which names appeared the most and looked at their affiliations.

to get to the point, we based our study on previous research into how these connections combine to influence what goes on in the city. for example, we looked at the mayoral race that was occuring at the time, and the front-runner (and winner) was part of a major local corporation, and how his supporters were all part of these various agencies.

the former mayor delaney was appointed president towards the end of our project, and it led me to question how this would impact what molotch & logan termed the 'growth machine.' would universities take a new role in the machine? will this lead universities to take a more prominent role in the city or area they are in? what especially worries me is the fund-raising aspect. the argument goes that since money for state schools is continually threatened, these politicians with their experience in raising money will be positive for the school. however, at least with the case for unf, the school that has raised the most money is the business college, with it being the only college that is named after a business (coggin, a local automotive 'empire'). the disparity between what business professors get paid and what fine arts professors or english professors get is well-known at unf. my own concern is that then the focus will become spitting out business men and women, so the local community will be benefited with capable workers, and the liberal arts will lose their support.

i'd like to study this once i get going in my graduate work, but unfortunately my research skills aren't up to par, and i'm not sure how i would design a research method that would be valid.

hopefully this blog will help me articulate my thoughts better, since it has been a while since i've been back into study-mode. i've been a drone since working in the 'real world.'

i get to register for classes soon. looks like i'll be taking sociological theory, quantitative analysis (yikes!), and the proseminar. can't wait!

a new start
a new town
a new medium.